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The Winning Letter Submitted to the ESDCTA

Dear Ms Ortepio,

I am writing you to nominate Holly Payne for the Good Sportsmanship Award. I am pleased that an opportunity to share the kindheartedness of an accomplished equestrian such as Holly has come up, as Holly sets the example for busy, driven and talented equestrian professionals everywhere to positively impact those around them.  Holly’s kindness is natural and innate; but for those who don’t come by this trait naturally, they would do well to try and emulate the compassion, selflessness and humility that are primary facets of good sportsmanship and Holly’s nature.

Since knowing Holly Payne as a competitor and trainer, Holly has unerringly practiced the old adage, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all”.  Holly has always had a smile and a friendly or encouraging word for anyone crossing her path, whether a famous rider, Pony Clubber, or adult amateur, like myself.

I am adult amateur competing in low level eventing. At competitions, I tend to be anxious, nervous, overwhelmed and emotional, having little over 2 years competition experience. Read: basket-case, train-wreck...  I have competed , accidentally, against the likes of Phillip Dutton on his young horses, which I found incredibly intimidating.  I have been at shows with different trainers when Holly was there with her own horses and students with their horses to take care of.  

The instances I am going to relay depict a pattern of behavior, not just an instance.  This, to me is quintessential to naming someone for the Good  Sportsmanship award.  Sportsmanship is a way of being, not a moment, a one-time act of kindness or a single instance of selflessness.  Sportsmanship is defined by qualities that are manifested repeatedly: a good habit, a natural way of being, a kindness, a selflessness, a tendency to reach out to others in need, despair, sadness or pain despite the potential inconvenience, poor timing, effect on self, appearances or consequences.

I remember being at a Horse Trials and felt overwhelmed with a particular jump and that the jumps were all at their maximum level for Novice.  I was torn up inside: I spent plenty of money for entry fees, hotels, horse transport, training and was struggling with the idea of “quitting”.  I was not feeling confident; I was extremely worried about a particular question being presented on the Novice Cross-country course.

I ran into Holly and we started chatting.  Before I knew it, I was spilling all of my fears, worries and concerns to Holly.  Holly listened quietly and intently and offered pointers and encouragement if I decided to compete.  Holly also commented that it is okay not to compete if I didn’t feel safe.  She reminded me that I could go home and school more.  Holly gave me options and made me feel like I had control of my decision.  Holly made it okay to try.  Holly made deciding not to compete, a responsible decision; not about quitting, disappointment, shame or failure.
The second time Holly exemplified her sportsmanlike conduct was at another Horse Trials.  I had a horrible chest cold and hadn’t realized the toll it had taken on my physical strength until after I went home and was able to see things clearly in hindsight.  At this particular Horse Trial, the stadium phase was the day before cross country.  I felt confident, as my trainer had encouraged me to move down a level to Beginner Novice.  As a result, we had been coming in respectably at the majority of our competitions at Beginner Novice.  My confidence was slowly returning.

I realized something was not right when in warm-up for stadium, I went over two little cross-rails and I was completely out of breathe and physically weak. I figured I was having trouble controlling my horse since he was so excited and strong.  My confidence started plummeting because I couldn’t get my horse and I together, riding as a team and riding like we had in the recent past.  We got through stadium, but I was very pre-occupied with the poor ride we had had and the feeling of not being able to control my horse.
The next day, around 15 minutes into cross-country worm-up, my horse was more excited than I had ever experienced him being.  Again, not realizing how sick and physically weak I was, I just couldn’t get it together.  I started crying, got off my horse and threw in the towel. I snuck him onto the trailer, because I was so embarrassed and humiliated.  I withdrew my horse and packed up as quietly and discretely as I could.

Holly was looking for me, a friend said.  I kept packing.  Holly found me and asked how things went.  I tried to avoid the conversation and said, “as expected”, and continued carrying things to my trailer.   Holly followed me and asked me what happened.  I burst into tears again and Holly hugged me and listened carefully and openly to the whole story.  Holly assured me that this happens to everyone and gave examples from her own experiences.  Holly gave me sensible, encouraging and realistic advice about my horse, warm-up, and other factors.  I ended up feeling so much better after Holly spoke with me.  I drove home, still teary and disappointed, but no longer humiliated and embarrassed.  Again, Holly was not my coach, and again Holly had gone out of her way to check on me, for no other reason than kindness, concern and innate sportsmanlike conduct.

As of this Fall, Holly is now my coach. Holly continues to be my confidence builder, teacher, trainer and role model.  Holly just got back from Blenheim, England and will be competing in the Rolex **** 3 day event.  Success is not changing Holly, in fact, Holly becomes more grateful, kind and gracious, continuing to effortlessly comport herself in sportsmanlike manner with the ease and grace of one who is a true competitor and professional; truly sportsmanlike because it is in her character.  Holly Payne epitomizes Good Sportsmanship in her words and deeds, under scrutiny or in discreet moments.  Holly is not about lip service, a practiced act or gesture.  Holly Payne is the whole package: talent, grace, humility, kindness and professionalism.

Please accept my nomination of Holly Payne for the Good Sportsmanship Award.

Sincerely yours,

Tamara D'Addabbo

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